


That's Not What You Do in the Library (Or at the Bar)

by ornategrip



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Deepthroating, Diego likes to be mean to Luther, Drunk Sex, M/M, Maybe that's his kink, Semi-Public Sex, Sibling Incest, brief Ben/Klaus, implied Allison/Vanya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 10:10:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18247709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornategrip/pseuds/ornategrip
Summary: What's a little alcohol and sex between siblings?Somehow, this is all Klaus' fault. That's Diego's story and he's sticking to it.





	That's Not What You Do in the Library (Or at the Bar)

Luther was just standing in the doorway like the big, dumb, lump he was.

Diego hadn’t even been interested in going into the library, had in fact been on his way to get a late night snack when he spotted his brother at the end of the hall. He hadn’t really paid attention until he got closer and Luther had failed to so much as twitch.

The idea of a snack had instantly become less interesting and he had smoothly changed course, making sure to stomp his feet because he knew it annoyed his brother. Luther still didn’t move, not even when Diego came right up behind him, his ridiculously broad shoulders blocking the way.

He shoved at Luther, mostly for show because it wouldn’t be enough to really move him, the big galoot.

“Get out of my way,” he snapped, ducking around Luther. “You aren’t the only one who likes to read- oh.”

Klaus was naked on the sofa, astride Ben’s lap. Ben, _their dead, ghost, brother_ , was fucking up into him steadily, Klaus’ frankly over the top moaning and the slapping of skin on skin loud in the room.

Diego sucked in a breath in shock and joined Luther in his stillness, gaping uselessly at the spectacle in front of them. They stared, the sounds of sex so freaking loud, like a porno but worse because there wasn’t a soundtrack to help disguise the fact that this was pure sex, lewd and obscene and real.

Then Klaus glanced over his shoulder and gave them a wink.

Luther closed the double doors. 

The two of them just stared at the panel wood for a beat or two before Luther shook his head as if clearing it.

“I’m getting a drink.”

Diego nodded mutely, following Luther as he made his way back down the hall, turning to the living room and the bar at the end. They made a beeline for it, Luther going behind the bar and Diego hopping onto one of the stools and they didn’t say a word to each other.

Luther grabbed two glasses and lined them up in front of Diego before grabbing a bottle seemingly at random and pouring them two healthy shots. As if synchronized, they picked up their respective glasses and on impulse, Diego held his out and Luther tapped the rim with his own glass.

_Salud._

Diego knocked it back. Whiskey. The good kind because Dad had only ever allowed the best in his house. Next time Diego went out, he should buy some of the rotgut, the cheapest he could find and place it on the bar as a fuck you, Dad. He would still drink the expensive stuff but it was the thought that counted. 

“More,” Diego said, holding out his glass and Luther poured him some more and after some hesitation, refilled his own glass.

“I don’t even like whiskey,” Luther murmured, almost to himself but he still gave himself a healthy portion.

Diego held up his own cup to eyeball the golden liquid. He shrugged.

“Try one of them fruity drinks,” he suggested. “Five makes a killer margarita.”

The mention of Five became a thought about brothers which turned into a thought about Klaus, which turned into a thought about what Klaus and Ben were currently doing. Diego drank down his whiskey and after a moment, Luther did the same. 

Diego didn’t even have to ask this time, Luther immediately refilling both their glasses.

“So, that was…” Luther trailed off, rubbing one hand across his nose. He was blushing and Diego thought about making fun of him for it but his own cheeks were warm even if his skin tone made it unnoticeable.

“That was,” Diego agreed because it certainly was.

“I guess we should be happy that Klaus has clearly been training?” Luther sounded doubtful even as he said it and Diego snorted.

“Figures it’d take sex to get Klaus to finally work hard at it.”

They shared a grin, memories of Klaus’ whining about push-ups and chin-ups and the laps they had to take around the house. Klaus had always done them of course but damn, had he whined and fussed and kicked his little feet like the drama queen he was.

They both took another drink, emptying the glasses again.

Luther came around the bar, a little aimlessly, leaving his empty glass on the counter. He seemed a bit lost and Diego swiveled the stool around to keep him in sight. All he did was wander over to the sofa though and plop down a little bonelessly, the furniture creaking under his weight.

He seemed loose all over, come to think of it and it wasn’t that surprising. For all his height and weight, Luther the Lightweight made sense. Out of all of them, Luther was the one who had abstained, long after Dad could actually stop them.

Who knows, maybe being part gorilla made him more susceptible to alcohol. What the hell did Diego know about gorillas? He wasn’t ever going to cart himself over to the library to read up on them, that was for sure.

Diego snagged the bottle before he went to where Luther was sitting, dropping down right next to him, so their shoulders were touching. He took a swig straight from the bottle then handed it to Luther so Luther could do the same. They were quiet together, sitting side by side, handing the bottle off. They should probably slow down but Diego didn’t want to and if Luther wasn’t going to stop, Diego certainly wasn’t going to.

“There are so many bedrooms they could have done that in,” Luther blurted out suddenly, sounding vaguely offended. “I read books in there! That’s why I went in there, to get a book!”

“Yeah, does seem a little inconsiderate.” 

Sex in public spaces tended to be inconsiderate in general, much less when it involved family members.

“Least it wasn’t on the breakfast table,” Diego added because hey, at least it wasn’t where they ate. Had to look on the bright side whenever it involved Klaus.

Luther harrumphed, taking the bottle from Diego to take another drink.

“I read on that couch and now it’s got stuff on it.”

“Stuff,” Diego repeated agreeably because it just seemed like a great word. He got the bottle back from Luther and took a sip. Luther was still grumbling to himself.

“They looked like they were having a good time, though.”

“Sex usually is a good time,” Diego said dryly and Luther made a face.

“I wouldn’t really know.”

That gave Diego pause, pursing his lips as he stared at his brother.

“But you… with that girl, Klaus told us about it.”

Diego gestured expansively, nearly hitting the sofa arm with the near empty bottle still in his hand. Maybe Diego was a little drunk. Just a little. Very little. Luther was drunker.

“I was drunk and high, I barely remember any of it.”

Diego blinked and then patted Luther’s thigh with his empty hand.

“That sucks, bro.”

It did. He kept patting and then rubbing, Luther warm enough to radiate through the fabric of his pants. He stroked Luther without really thinking about it, fingers working up pretty high up his inner thigh.

Luther made a little sound, a small sound but it was a sex sound, Diego knew sex sounds and that was a sex sound. It zipped right down his spine to his cock, which twitched, already a little hard. Diego wasn’t sure exactly when that happened but decided to roll with it.

He swallowed and kept his hand right where it was, on the firm, warm muscle of Luther’s thigh. He brought his other hand up, the one holding the whiskey bottle, to his mouth to take a sip and then he thought better of it. Instead, he held the bottle up to Luther’s mouth, letting the rim of it rest on his bottom lip. They were staring at each other, barely breathing and then Diego licked his lips and Luther opened his mouth and let his brother tip some whiskey into his mouth.

“Fuuuuck,” Diego whispered, watching Luther’s mouth wrap around the opening to suck a shot of whiskey down. He pulled the bottle back, equally as mesmerized with watching Luther’s lips part to let it go. Everything about Luther could just be so… pink, sometimes.

It left Luther’s mouth wet and the whiskey was buzzing in Diego’s blood and it was so easy to lean forward and capture his brother’s mouth with his own. His pink wet mouth met Diego’s eagerly, Luther kissing him back enthusiastically, sloppy but that was nice too, easy and sweet.

It was the work of a moment to clamber onto Luther’s lap, bottle falling to the wayside and forgotten. They kissed some more, or at least Diego kissed and Luther did whatever he was doing with his mouth that might, charitably, be called kissing by someone nicer than Diego.

It had been a while since Diego had sex, what with the end of the world, undoing the end of the world and the whole family group therapy so Vanya didn’t end the world again. Eudora was back from the dead but she _still_ didn’t want to date him.

His right hand could only do so much that he’d taken to using his left from time to time.

So this was nice, sitting astride Luther, no matter how messy his kisses were. He was big and warm and the span of his hands on Diego’s waist was ridiculous. Diego usually went for guys bigger than him. Taller and more muscular, just a preference that didn’t mean anything. Still, none of those men were bigger than Luther, what man was?

Luther pulled away to breathe because he needed to do that even if Diego didn’t. Diego pulled back and Luther just gazed up at him with big, blue eyes.

“God, you’re hot,” Luther breathed and he sounded so awe-struck it was difficult not to take it to heart.

Maybe it was just the whiskey and the compliment but Diego was feeling very fond of Luther right now.

“I’m going to do you a favor,” he told his brother, patting Luther on the chest. “You’ll like it.”

With one last kiss, Diego slithered off the couch and ended up on his knees between Luther’s spread legs.

“Oh,” Luther said, startled, “Are you really?”

Diego just gave him a look, reaching up to tug down Luther’s pajama pants, making sure to rub his knuckles against the skin of Luther’s stomach just to feel the muscles jump.

“It’s just, are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“Would I be down here if I didn’t want to?”

“But,” Luther seemed flustered and finally blurted out, “Can it fit in your mouth?”

“Wow. Ego much?”

And then Diego reached in and pulled Luther’s dick out of his pants. 

Well.

Well.

Maybe it wasn’t going to fit in his mouth.

“If it’s too much,” Luther began to say, hesitantly and Diego snapped his gaze away from Luther’s dick to glare up at him.

“It’s fine, you think I can’t handle it? I can handle it.”

He popped the head into his mouth to prove it, tucking it against the inside of his cheek. He rolled the head with his tongue, already leaking bitter precome and gave it a little suckle before letting it slip free.

“Don’t thrust,” he warned Luther, who already looked like he was dying and then took his cock back into this mouth.

Diego could hold his breath for a very long time. As children, the focus of that had been for underwater missions but if you think the moment puberty had happened, Diego hadn’t been considering the other more x-rated uses for his ability, you would be very wrong.

Once he had been out of the house, free from all of Dad’s stupid rules, there had been a few years dedicated to learning his limits. He could go home with whoever he wanted, enjoy sex without the fear of getting caught and practice, practice, practice.

Diego liked to be the best at whatever he did.

He rolled his shoulders, loosened his joints, placed his hands very firmly on Luther’s thighs then dipped his head down. It was the back of the throat you really had to be careful of, the spot that could trigger the gag reflex. Once you got passed that- he swallowed around the head of Luther’s cock and then it was filling his throat.

Above his head, Luther made a choked off screeching noise, his feet doing a little drumbeat against the floor to keep from thrusting.

If he could smirk, he would but his lips were stretched tight around Luther’s cock and they had no room to do much more. Luther was thick and long, honestly a little bit too much so but Diego could take it so he did.

He worked his throat muscles around the girth, felt it twitch inside him. He slowly pulled off, careful of his teeth, until just the head was in his mouth. He suckled it, fluttered his tongue against it and then down he went again, taking it to the root.

He could feel Luther’s thighs shaking with the effort to keep from thrusting, to keep from gagging Diego, Luther was trying so hard to be good. Because that’s what Luther was, a good boy who liked to do as he was told.

Then Luther’s hands were in his hair and they were tugging out an SOS of all things and Diego carefully pulled up. And up and up until Luther’s cock finally slipped free of his mouth. He turned his watering eyes to Luther. His brother looked desperate.

“Told you I could do it,” Diego rasped and Luther moaned at the sound of his voice.

“I can’t,” Luther said, voice breaking, “It’s too much, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Alright, alright,” Diego soothed, rubbing his palm along Luther’s thighs. “But I could do it, I could take you.”

Luther nodded shakily.

“Yeah, you could.”

Satisfied, Diego nodded back and then slipped his fingers into the waistband of Luther’s pajama bottoms.

“Let’s get these off you.”

Obediently, Luther lifted his hips so Diego could slide them down those long legs of his, body hair, here at least, sparse and blond. Luther was wearing fuzzy slippers because that’s just how thoroughly uncool he was but at least it came in handy now. Diego could just pull them off and toss them to the side before doing the same to the pants.

Diego shoved Luther’s legs even farther apart, wrapping one hand around the base of Luther’s dick and got his mouth on Luther’s balls. He sucked one into his mouth and then the other, listening to Luther lose his damn mind above him, gasping and groaning and whimpering Diego’s name.

Luther was sobbing, writhing on the couch and okay, Diego hadn’t even been aware of that kink but seeing Luther falling apart like this? Diego might not even have to get a hand on own his dick to come. Not that he was going to wait and see if that was true. He dropped both his hands to work open his fly, laving at Luther’s balls and rubbing his face along his dripping cock.

This shit was hot.

Once he got his own dick out, he kept one hand on himself, the other went back to Luther, to hold Luther’s cock steady as he sucked it back into his mouth. No deep throating this time, just sucking and kissing and rubbing his tongue along the head.

Luther’s hands went back to his hair, not to tug but to pet big clumsy fingers through. Luther was sweet, so damn sweet, who knew? Sweet and obedient and Diego’s teenage years in this house would have been a lot easier if he knew sex was the way to get Luther to behave for him.

Luther’s orgasm probably took him by surprise, but not Diego, who knew what a man felt like when he was about to come, that winding tension that built in their body. He let the first spurt of come fill his mouth before pulling back to let the rest hit his face.

Diego knew what he liked and from time to time, he liked to get marked, liked to be left filthy and sticky and covered in come.

Luther breathed his name like a revelation.

It took three more jerks to his own dick before he was coming, splattering all along the floor and on the bottom front of the couch. He groaned, pressing his face to Luther’s spent softening cock, going limp as Luther stroked his ears and hair with grateful hands.

They stayed like that for a while, Diego leaning heavily against his brother’s legs, Luther touching him in a strangely shy and delicate way. What he had to be shy about Diego didn’t know. He was covered in Luther’s spunk, shyness didn’t seem to have a place here.

But still, it felt nice so he let him, occasionally rubbing his face against Luther’s thigh to show his appreciation. He was sleepy with orgasm and alcohol and he was just considering if there was room on the couch for the both of them to sleep when a sudden noise made him jerk up and look around.

Vanya and Allison stood in the doorway, eyes wide.

They looked at their sisters, looked at each other and then back to their sisters. Their sisters didn’t move.

“Uh-”

“We can explain-!”

Allison shut the door on them.

They were quiet for a moment, staring at where their sisters used to be. Maybe they shouldn’t have done this in the living room. But if Klaus and Ben could do it in the library, why couldn’t Luther and Diego do it in the living room? They were Number One and Number Two for crying out loud, they should get to fuck wherever they wanted.

Diego might still be drunk.

He turned to look at Luther, who was still staring forlornly at the door.

“Do you think they’re going to-?” Diego asked and Luther turned to stare at him, eyes wide and face still delightfully pink. He didn’t say a word but Diego could tell he was picturing it, the pervert.

“Yeah, probably,” Diego decided and then climbed back up Luther’s body and sat on his lap.

“Carry us to bed,” Diego ordered, winding his arms around Luther’s neck. “I don’t feel like walking.”

Luther did as told.


End file.
